Sister
by Annie-the-Writer
Summary: NOT A SEDDIE STORY! IT'S A JATHAN STORY! PLEASE READ! YOU'LL ENJOY IT! IF YOU LOVE THIS COUPLE AND SHIP THEM LIKE I DO, YOU WILL LOVE THIS! A CUTE, MADE UP, FOUR SHOT OF FRIENDSHIP AND OVERCOMING THE PROBLEMS OF HARBORING "CERTAIN FEELINGS!"
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! So this is my first non-FanFiction, FanFiction, so to speak. It's not technically about Seddie, but Jathan! The only reason I wrote this, was because of some serious pent up frustration that I have about the two of them. Now that iCarly has stopped filming and they are all going their separate ways, I just can't but think that it can't be over between Jennette and Nathan! Ugh! So unfair! So anyways, here is a little four shot that I came up with because I could. Sorry if you don't like it and also sorry in advance for any grammatical errors! But most importantly enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not and will never own iCarly, Sam, Freddie, Carly, Jennette, Nathan, or Miranda! **

Chapter 1

Jennette bent over the laptop that was sitting on her legs.

It wasn't that she was hiding the video she was watching, it was just that she didn't want anyone to see

. Okay, so maybe she was hiding it, but it was for good reason. She turned the volume down even lower than the already 20% it was on.

She didn't want to risk anybody hearing it too. She wasn't sure why she was being so sneaky, it wasn't like she was doing anything wrong.

The video she was watching was one of her and Nathan doing an interview with TrueTV, and it was one of her least favorites because they had been asked THE question. She was just getting to it now.

"So, do you guys get asked a lot about the kissing scenes from fans?" Jennifer was asking. Jennette gave a small smile that was supposed to look embarrassed. Nathan in turn gave a smile of his own and answered for both of them.

"Yeah we do. But we always tell people that we do what we have to do. I mean come on, it's like kissing your sister," he said and continued to smile at her as if waiting for her to agree. In truth Jennette was crushed. He'd never put it like that before.

Denied feelings, gotten another girlfriend, but called her a sister? Never. She remembered smiling and nodding back as if what he'd said made perfect sense. And maybe to him it did. But to her? Jennette knew that she shouldn't feel for him the way she did.

He was her best friend and had been from the time they'd met until now, but Jennette had always had feelings for him. Sure she hadn't realized just how strong they were until he'd given her first kiss. She smiled fondly at the memory.

She'd been so nervous they'd had to do the scene three times before she got it right. Now, with the computer on her lap, she scrolled down through the comments smiling the whole way through. 'Jennette and Nathan are so cute,' 'Why aren't they dating yet?' 'Sister? Nobody looks at their sister the way Nate looks at her.'

These comments were her favorite. It was just the video and the important person's opinion that mattered...not the fans'. "Whatcha looking at?" Said a voice behind her. Jennette jumped and slammed the laptop shut before turning around.

"Dang Nathan you scared me!" She exclaimed, one hand on her throat. It would figure that while she was brooding over her unfair love-life, the source of the problems would be the one to find her. He raised an eyebrow at the computer.

"What were you looking at?" He asked again. "Nothing really just checking Twitter," she lied smoothly. He looked at her for a moment and smirked slightly. "Liar. I can't believe you think that works on me. I can tell when you're lying get this cute little crinkle between your eyes."

She scoffed. "I do not." She knew she didn't sound very confident. His smirk faded.

"Yes you do. You're lying and I don't know why. You never lie to me," he responded. Jennette knew if she stuck around long enough he'd eventually get the truth out of her, and she definitely didn't want that. So she slid the laptop off her lap and stuck it in her messenger bag.

"I'm not lying to you," she shrugged and she walked around the couch in her dressing room. He was standing just inside the doorway. She made a move to get around him, but as she went to pass him, he reached out to grab her arm. His grip was gentle.

"Jennette," he said softly, his voice almost filled with something like pain. "What?" She almost snapped. She was trying to get away from him for this very reason. She wanted to reach out and wrap her arms around him, and...No! She couldn't think like that.

She couldn't risk their friendship. "Please talk to me. You've been acting distant lately. But just towards me. With everyone else you're fine. Same old Jennette. But with me? You seem different. Did I do something?" Now Nathan's voice did see to be filled with pain.

"No, I'm fine. Everything is fine," Jennette could feel herself shaking. It wasn't from anger. She hardly ever got angry. No, her will was crumbling. In a few short moments she would be putty in his hands. Which was why she had to leave, now. "Nettie?" He said softly.

Before she knew what she was doing, she'd ripped her arm out of his grip. This seemed to startle both of them. But what she said next took the cake. "Don't bother with it Nathan. Just forget it okay? I'm fine. Everything is fine. I'm not lying to you.

And even if I was it's not like it's the first time," and with that she turned around and walked away. If she hadn't, she would have seen Nathan's shocked, crushed look and she would have seen him deflate right there. She would have seen him turn slowly and walk into his dressing room that he'd begged to have put right beside hers.

And most importantly she would have seen the one tear that slipped out and rolled down his cheek before he hastily rubbed it away.

Jennette blamed the video. If she hadn't been watching it, she probably wouldn't have been so frustrated with him.

But it wasn't his fault. Not really. He had no idea she liked him. Or at least she hoped not.

She knew she'd been harsh, but really maybe this was for the best. Maybe she needed some time away from him to get her head clear. Then she'd come back, feeling nothing for him but friendship. That is, if he still wanted to be friends.

Of course he would. It wasn't like they were fighting. Just a small disagreement to go with all the others. Well actually they didn't fight all that much so maybe not. Oh well, she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.

Now, she had to head over to Dan's office for a meeting with him. He'd told her that he had big news to share with her and Nathan, and they were supposed to come together which is what he'd shown up at her dressing room to do, she now thought.

So she'd have to make an excuse for Nathan, no big deal. It wasn't until she stopped just outside Dan's office and reached out to knock that she noticed her hands shaking. She hadn't noticed before and maybe she hadn't wanted to.

She hated hurting Nathan's feelings. Hated it with every fiber of her being. But she couldn't have stayed there much longer and she knew the only reason she had done it was because she knew it was the only way to get him to let her go.

He couldn't find out. Couldn't know how she really felt about him. It would ruin their friendship because he obviously didn't like her that way. So, she told herself, willing her hand to stop shaking. She'd done it for the sake of her friendship with Nathan. She knocked on the door and opened it. Dan Schneider was sitting behind a legit looking desk that papers and gum wrappers all over the top. "There's one. Where is you're not better half." Dan smiled. "I think he had a phone call to make. I'm supposed to relay the message," Jennette lied smoothly. "That's fine. I just figured I'd let you guys know before rehearsal tomorrow...Seddie's getting back together!"

Jennette made her way back to her dressing room in a daze. She'd managed to make it out of Dan's office in one piece, but now she could feel herself starting to tear apart. It had been hard enough the first go round when they'd had to kiss and hug and hold hands.

But again? When she'd barely survived the first time? And now when they were losing each other as friends? If she didn't love Dan so much, she wouldn't have agreed to do it. Even now if she told him that she couldn't, he'd change it for her, hut she couldn't do that to him. Instead of going straight to her dressing room like she'd planned, she walked next door to Nathan's and knocked.

It only took him a few seconds to answer and when he opened the door he looked surprised to see her. "Back again for round two," he said harshly. Jennette cringed and he immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry. That was mean," he apologized sincerely. Jennette held up a hand. "Don't apologize. I deserved it. I deserve much worse." He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair.

"No you do-" "Yeah I do," she cut him off, "I'm the one who should be sorry. I snapped at you first.

He made move as if to reach out and hug her but she put a hand up, further pushing him away. He was confused and hurt and a bit angry.

What was going on with her?

"I just came by to tell you that Dan wanted to let us know the Sam and Freddie are going to get back together. So get ready for lots of mushy gushy crap." Jennette deadpanned.

Was he really that bad? Nathan thought to himself. Did it really kill her to have to pretend that she was dating him? Even if it wasn't them. "Fabulous, maybe they won't screw it up this time," Nathan announced and shut the door in her face affectively ending the conversation.

As shocked as she was, she knew she deserved it. So, with that she walked over to her dressing room, and as soon as the door was closed, she slid down to the floor and began to cry.

**So that was Chapter 1! Did you like? Did you not like? I wont know unless you comment! **


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Nathan could hear her crying.

It was soft at first, and then got louder and louder until it was all he could hear.

He looked to the wall that separated them and moaned softly. He hated this.

Hated it so much he wanted to beat down the wall and take her into his arms and hold her forever.

His best friend was crying and it was his entire fault. But what could he do? She rejected every little sign of sympathy he tried giving her. When had everything changed? When had they gone from best friends...to this. He wanted to shout at her.

Take her by the shoulders and shake her. Without thinking he turned and and slammed his fist into the drywall. It didn't hurt which he found odd, but he definitely had broken the poor wall. He'd punched right through it. He knew he would have to explain to Dan what happened later but right now all he could think about was Jennette, his Nettie, all torn up and hiding things from him.

What was her issue? He certainly wasn't going to get any answers from her. Maybe Miranda would know.

Those two shared almost everything. He'd go ask her and then he'd fix it. Fix everything so he could get his Nettie back. Everything would be alright again. Everything would go back to- His phone rang, interrupting his train of thought.

He picked it up and answered without even checking the caller ID. "Hello?" He said impatiently.

"Nate?" Madisen asked. "Hey. Sorry." He didn't sound it. "Are you okay?" She asked slowly as if he were mental.

"Yes Madisen," he sighed, scrubbing his face, "I'm fine." She coughed on the other end of the line. For some reason the noise irked him. "Are you sure?" She persisted. She'd never heard him sound this agitated before. He began pacing. Something he did when got edgy.

"Yes I'm sure," he snapped. She paused for a moment. He'd never snapped at her before. "Okay, well I was just calling to see if you wanted to get some lunch?" She asked timidly. "I'm at work," he told her still pacing. "Well I just thought-"

"Fine," he said cutting her off, "just tell me where to go." They picked a place and agreed to meet in 20 minutes. Then he practically slammed his phone shut and threw it across the room. He didn't have time for this.

He needed to go see Miranda and then talk to Jennette. He had to make things better. But, he'd agreed to go with Madisen, his girlfriend, and she came first. Or that's what he'd been taught to believe. Now, he wasn't so sure.

His relationship with Madisen is what most people would call safe. She wasn't extremely famous so the press pretty much left them alone. She was sweet, kind, smart, talented, and made him laugh. But when he was with her he couldn't help but ask himself if this was it. She was perfect. Just the girl for him. So why did he feel like something was missing?

Jennette hastily wiped at her eyes when she heard a knocking on the door.

Thinking it was Nathan coming to apologize; she put on a fake smile and opened the door.

However, it wasn't. It was Miranda. "Hey Jenn-" She stopped mid-sentence.

"Jennette? What's wrong?" Compassion filled Miranda's eyes. "Nothing's wrong," Jennette said wiping at her eyes some more. "Oh no you don't. I know you Jennette, and I know something is wrong.

So you better just tell me now because if I have to force it out, we both know it won't be pretty," Miranda teased gently. "It's just this thing with Nathan," Jennette hiccupped. Miranda sighed. "Come sit down." she said motioning to the couch. They both sat down. Tell me what happened." Jennette relayed the entire fight.

"So now he's all mad at me."

"Nathan? Mad at you? Are you kidding me right now Jenn? Nathan is never mad at you. I don't think he knows how to be! I don't think you guys have even ever had a disagreement." Miranda laughed shortly.

"Of course we have disagreements," Jennette mumbled. "Name one time!" Jennette was silent a moment. "Okay so maybe not, but it doesn't change the fact that we are fighting now. He's mad at me and I deserve it. I keep trying to push him away, and I can't tell him why!"

Miranda sighed. "Can you tell me why?" "Is it really that hard to figure out? I figured it was written all over my face," Jennette said in exasperation as she jumped up from the couch.

"Jenn? Is there something that you want to share with the class?" Miranda smiled at her friend's amusing spaz attack. "I like him! Okay? I like him!" Jennette shrieked pulling at her hair.

Miranda's eyes opened wide and she smiled. "Well it's about time!" Jennette stopped pacing to stare at her friend. "What do you mean, 'It's about time?'" "Jennette, I've known for a long time that you had feelings for Nathan!"

"Then why did you make me tell you?" The blonde demanded. "Because, it's not good to keep things bottled up! I knew you would tell me on your own time." Jennette stopped. "Oh." "Yes oh," Miranda smiled. "This is so messed up Mandy!" Jennette groaned and fell back onto the couch.

"It'll be okay," Miranda soothed rubbing Jennette's back. "It won't be okay! I like him Miranda. Not just like, but I really like him, and he's dating Madisen! And then, to top it all off, Dan told me that Sam and Freddie are getting back together, so we have to hug and kiss and pretend to be in the relationship that I want so desperately want to be in!" Jennette said all in one breath. "Seddie's back on! Yes!" Miranda smiled but stopped when Jennette shot her a look.

"I'm sorry. That was insensitive. But I am a huge Seddie shipper and I...Okay never mind." Jennette dropped her head into her hands. "Maybe I could go talk to him and see what he thinks about all of this," Miranda offered. "No!" Jennette exclaimed. "You can't say anything to him about it!" Miranda rolled her eyes.

"I'm not stupid Jenn. I'm not going to tell him about how you feel! I was going to just be all cool and see what he thinks is going on." "Maybe it's just best if you don't say anything to him," Jennette said in a strained tone. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll talk to him and work it out. I don't want you to have to come between us," Jennette deflated. "Okay then, if you're sure," Miranda said and stood up. "I have to go talk with Dan. I'm here if you want to talk some more." "I know," Jennette sighed, "I'm going to talk to him." "Soon? Because I don't like this tension," Miranda questioned. "Yeah, soon."

As soon as Miranda left Jennette's room, she knocked on Nathan's door. She smiled softly at the fact that the rooms were literally right next to each other. She got no reply. "Nathan?" She called. But still there was silence.

"If you're in there and you don't let me in...I'll...I'll bust down this door." "Go ahead. The wall needs to get fixed too," said a quiet voice behind her. She jumped slightly and spun around. "Oh hey Nathan! You scared me! I thought you were in there and that you were just ignoring me," she smiled sheepishly. "No, I was at lunch with Madisen," he replied. "Oh, well, can we talk?" She asked motioning to the door.

"Yeah sure. I've been meaning to catch up with you anyways. There's something I want to talk with you about," he answered a bit more brightly. "Okay sure!" Miranda smiled and walked through the door he'd opened. "So what did you- Oh my God! What happened to your wall?" She exclaimed.

Nathan rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, I might have punched a hole through it. I was angry." "At what?" She asked incredulously. "Jennette and I had a fight...are having a fight. I think. I don't even know what's going on! It's just lately she's been all distant and I don't even know why! I mean is it something I said or did? I don't know and every time I try to talk to her to work things out she pushes me away!" Nathan said frustrated.

Miranda sighed and looked to the ceiling. "Nathan I think you need to talk to Jennette and explain to her that you really want to make things, whatever they are, better." "You don't think I've tried?" He asked.

"I keep trying to talk to her and she finds any excuse to literally push me away." Miranda sighed again. "Look Jennette has something she needs to tell you. As soon as she does everything will be better. Don't tell her I told you this, but I promise if you ask her what's really going on, she'll tell you the truth." Nathan took a deep breath. "And you're sure everything will go back to the way it was?"

"I sure hope so," Miranda mumbled to herself. Nathan nodded. "Okay, I'll go ask her right now!" Miranda smiled. "Okay, you do that. Oh and Nathan, she told me about the fight. You might start by apologizing for slamming the door in her face." Nathan smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah, I will. Thanks a bunch Miranda. I just want Jennette's friendship back. It means everything to me!" He left the room with a smile on his face. However the one on Miranda's slipped off. Friendship? Oh no.

Nathan knocked on Jennette's door. There was no reply. "Jennette? It's Nathan. Look, open the door okay? I want to apologize." He was met with more silence. "I get that your mad okay, but I want to talk to you and figure out what's wrong. Jennette?"

At this point he knew that if she was listening she'd have opened the door. She was just that nice. He grabbed the door knob and turned it. Inside the light was off and no one was in site. Jennette's bag was gone as well as some of her other things. Nathan figured maybe she'd gone home, but decided to ask Dan just to be sure.

As he walked down the hallway, his mind was spinning with all of the possibilities of what it was that Jennette was keeping from him. Hopefully it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. He knocked on Dan's door and pushed his way inside. His boss was sitting at the desk with his head in his hands.

"Dan?" Nathan asked tentatively. Dan lifted his head slowly. "She's gone," he said in a hoarse voice. "What?" Nathan asked confused. "She's gone. Jennette," Dan stated. "I know, I guess she went home and-" "No Nathan," Dan interrupted, "She's gone."

"What do you mean?" Nathan demanded as he fell into a chair opposite of Dan's desk. "I mean, she packed some of her things and then came by to tell me that she needed to quit. She said she had some personal issues to handle and now was not a good time to be doing iCarly."

"But, but she can't do that! We all signed a contract. We can't just quit!" "Yeah, you can," Dan sighed and groaned. "This is going to literally kill the show. How are we supposed to explain Jennette just leaving! iCarly, without Sam! Perfect, just freaking perfect," Dan mumbled hysterically to himself.

Nathan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was his fault. He made her quit because of whatever he had done that she wouldn't explain. Nathan sat up. "Look Dan," he began, "Something is wrong between Jennette and me. She won't explain and I've been trying to get her to tell me all day.

We had a fight and she won't even let me talk to her. She keeps pulling away and I don't know why. I was on my way to see if you knew where she was because Miranda told me there was a secret that Jennette was keeping from me." Dan looked up at Nathan.

"What did you do kid?" Nathan sighed. "I don't know! Every time I try to talk to her, she finds some excuse to pull away and leave the room. This has been going on for a while now, and I asked her about it, finally, this morning, and you know what she did? She snapped at me! Jennette! When has she ever been rude to anyone? Especially me! We are best friends! We share everything and it's been that way forever Dan! I just want her back. Back to be my best friend. Not this girl who keeps things from me and snaps at me!"

Dan stared at him. "Go find her Nathan. You find her and talk to her and then you bring her back." "And what do you think is going to happen when I show up at her apartment? She's just going to let me in for tea and cookies?" Nathan asked sarcastically.

He knew he was being harsh, but he was to wound up to care. "You make her talk to you. You guys have a close bond that no one can come between, Nathan! Do not give up on her just because of one fight!" Dan said, his voice rising.

"One fight? This isn't one fight Dan! She won't talk to me, won't look my in the eye! Something is wrong. Very, very wrong and I can't find out why because she won't spend two seconds in the same room with me!" Nathan said helplessly, throwing his arms in the air.

"Then make her," Dan said simply. "How?" Nathan cried.

"You know how," said the man behind the desk.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Turn left here," Jennette instructed the cab driver as she wiped at a stray tear.

Quitting iCarly was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. Dan hadn't understood at all, begging her to stay and offering her things like raises and bigger dressing rooms. But Jennette didn't want any of that. She was happy with what she had.

Well everything but Nathan. What did she have with Nathan? Not a relationship, obviously. A friendship? Not likely anymore. The already fragile and breaking mess would be completely gone now that she had quit and wouldn't be seeing him at all anymore.

She felt a pang of guilt and sadness. The friendships and bonds that she had made over the years with everyone on set and everyone at Nickelodeon would now be over. But it was for the best, she told herself over and over again as she rode in silence.

At least that's what she wanted to believe. Everything was so confusing and messed up now. And it was all her fault. If she hadn't fallen for Nathan she'd still have, an amazing job, great friendships, him. .. But now, thanks to her stupid crush, everything was ruined.

She should have been more discrete, so that she wouldn't have had to cover up with lies. But playing it cool was never something she could do well. Her emotions were what made her great. Her ability to feel for everyone and everything was what gave her away easily.

God how she wished for the "before" days as she liked to call them. When her friendship with Nathan was very casual, and very easygoing. There were videos on YouTube of the two of them just being them and she missed the days when being his best friend was her favorite part of every day.

The cab came to a sudden stop. "We're here miss," the cab driver announced. She thanked him and paid for the ride, before getting out and stepping onto the sidewalk. Her building loomed overhead and she walked inside quickly as it started to thunder.

"Miss McCurdy, home early from work?" said Patrick, the doorman. "Yes, it was a very relaxed day," she lied with a smile.

He smiled in response and opened the door. She walked through the lobby and up the stairs to her apartment, which she owned and lived in alone. It wasn't very big, but just big enough to fit her. Jennette shed her jacket and dropped the small box of personal items from her dressing room onto the floor by the door. She'd ask for the other things to be delivered later. She didn't want to chance running into someone if she went back.

Someone like Nathan or Miranda, who would demand answers and beg that she stay. It's for the best, it's for the best, she kept thinking to herself. She took her shoes off and set then in the closet and padded around in her socks. The thunder outside continued to grow louder and she opened the curtains that covered the large window in the living room part of the apartment.

Storms were Jennette's favorite kind of weather, and something about this storm was making Jennette calm and anxious at the same time. She flipped on the television and snuggled into her couch thinking, not about the sitcom on the screen, but about Nathan.

How would he react when he found out about her leaving? Would he freak out? Would he not care? Maybe he would go hang out with Madisen instead of caring. He probably didn't care at all. Maybe he was glad to be rid of her. Maybe he was as tired of the lies as she was. Maybe- no! Jennette scolded herself for having this private pity party. It was none of her business what he was doing or thinking anymore.

She shouldn't be thinking about him at all. She shook her head and picked up the remote. Between the thunder and volume on the T.V. she almost didn't hear the soft knock on the door. She flipped the volume to mute and waited to see if it was just her imagination. Suddenly there was a pounding noise from outside the door. She jumped up hurriedly. Who the heck was be pounding the daylights out of her door?

She grabbed a butter knife off of the kitchen counter in a silly attempt of security and slowly opened the door. She was prepared for a serial killer, maybe even an angry neighbor. What she was not prepared for, though, was Nathan. She made a move to shut the door but he reached out and stopped the door with a hand. The loud smack echoed down the empty hallway.

"Nathan you need to leave," she said, "Not, until we talk," he answered back in a firm tone. "Nathan you cannot just show up at my apartment and demand that we talk," she shot back as she tried to force the door closed

. "Give it a rest Jennette, I'm stronger than you," he replied in a harsh tone as she continued to hold the door open so they were talking to each other through a small crack. "Don't you understand?" She cried, "I don't want to talk to you!"

Suddenly the door was forced all the way open and it smacked against the wall with a loud bang. "Well, I don't really care what you want right now Nettie!" Nathan stated and walked in the room, slamming the door behind him. "You need to leave," Jennette said angrily.

"Not until we talk first. I thought I made that clear the first time?" He asked as he walked forward towards her. She took a step back.

"I have nothing to say to you," she said quietly. "Well fine then, you can listen. Because I sure have a lot to say," he snapped as he continued to back her into a corner. "Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on how you successfully managing to piss me off. Not an easy task Jennette," he began.

She flinched, but he continued.

"Secondly, I would like to say that leaving the show was a cowardly thing to do. Instead of talking to me about this problem you have with me, you just decided to leave. Run away. Do you have any idea how angry I was when I found out that you left without even saying goodbye? No, 'Hey I'm sorry but I don't think this is working out,' no nothing! You just left!" He said angrily his voice rising as her back hit the wall.

"No, but you don't care do you? You just were glad you made a clean break right? Right, Jennette?" He hissed. She said nothing. "And then, lastly I would like to know what the hell your problem is in the first place! One minute you're hot, the next you're cold. One minute we're friends, the next, you can't even be bothered to look at me or acknowledge my existence!"

"That is not true!" Jennette hissed back angrily. She stood up from where she was cowering against the wall. He was too close for comfort.

"I do not ignore you!" "Yes! You do, Jennette! You won't talk to me, won't look at me, won't listen to me, won't tell me the God damn truth! And you know what I'm sick of it! Sick and tired of you and your lying to me! So why don't you do both of us a favor and stop being such a brat! Hmm?" He asked angrily.

She glared at him. "I don't have to do anything that you tell me to do Nathan," she replied. "On the contrary," he said as he leaned forward placing both hands on the wall on either side of her head, "You do. You owe me that." She squirmed under his glare.

"I don't owe you anything!" She hissed. "Yes you do, and I will get it from you one way or another. I want our friendship back Jennette! Don't you understand?" He asked, his face extremely close to hers.

"Well…." She gulped losing her train of thought, "Well, I- I don't." Nathan stood up straight as if he'd been slapped in the face. He turned away from her in agitation. "Dammit Jennette!" He growled in frustration. She bit her lip as she stood up straight.

"I don't understand what is going on! And you won't tell me so how on this Earth am I supposed to fix this?" He asked whipping around to face her again. "There's nothing to tell Nathan! Nothing is wrong, okay? Stop asking me because there is no answer!" She exclaimed.

He shot forward gripping each of her wrists and pinning them to the wall in the same place his hands were previously. "Stop lying Jennette! Just stop okay?" He demanded. His voice was stuck somewhere between anger and incredulousness. "I am so sick of you lying to me!" He growled in her face.

"I want you to stop being such a drama queen and for once tell me the truth!" "I am not being a drama queen! How dare you call me that!" She said, hurt. "You're acting like one right now Jennette!" He exclaimed. "Just because I won't give you what you want, I'm a drama queen?" She asked.

He sighed angrily. "It's not about me getting what I want. If that was the case I would have taken it a long time ago!" He hissed. "Oh yeah and what's that?" She asked rolling her eyes in irritation.

"I want the truth. I want you to tell me what is so wrong with you, me, us. And more importantly, I want to do this," he said as he leaned forward and kissed her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

His lips pressed to her with such force Jennette had to grip onto his shoulders to keep from falling over.

After the initial shock of it all, came the regular shock. Nathan was kissing her. And it wasn't a Sam and Freddie stage kiss.

This was a Jennette and Nathan kissing because they could, kiss. He had her pressed up against the wall, his legs pressed into hers and their chests touching.

Every part of her was on fire. His eyes were open, and bored into hers. Brown glaring into blue. The kiss was blisteringly hot and angry all at the same time, and it held so much of the emotion each of them had been trying to hold back.

She had to stop him; had so many reasons to stop him. To name a few, the fact that they were NOT together, the fact that they we're friends, just friends, and the most important, he had a girlfriend. All of these reasons and so much more were swimming through her head but right at that moment, she didn't really care. She just wanted to enjoy it while it lasted. She closed her eyes.

Suddenly he pulled away. "No! Do not do that. Do not just sit there and let me kiss you Jennette!" He yelled.

To say she was confused was an understatement. "What are you-" she began but he cut her off. "You do not just get to stand there and act as if this is something we do every day!" He yelled. "But, I've kissed you before," she stated, confused.

"No, Sam kissed Freddie because she had to. Freddie kissed Sam because he had to. But dammit, I've wanted to kiss you for so long and you just took it without even thinking because you think nothing of it!" He was angry. Very, very angry.

"That's not what I-" "I doesn't matter," he cut her off again, "Don't you see? For so long, so very, very long, I have wanted to kiss you, to touch you, to hold you and call you mine. But, it was always, 'Nathan and I are just friends,' and 'Nathan and I wouldn't ever date. It would be too weird.' I had to sit there and watch you every single day crush any hope I ever had. You were my best friend. How could I not love everything about you?" He asked her but didn't wait for a response.

"But," he said growing angry again, "I didn't say anything because I knew, I knew, that if I ever said anything, made any kind of hint, you wouldn't understand. You wouldn't feel the same way and I would be left embarrassed and lose my best friend!"

"Nathan I-" "No! I'm not finished!" He snapped and she bit her lip.

"At first I thought you knew it. I thought maybe you'd figured it out. You would smile at me differently, look at me differently. Everything suddenly felt forced. And then you went and grew all distant. You stopped telling me things, kept lying to me, and I didn't know what to do! I knew I was losing you and I couldn't stop it," he admitted softly pressing his forehead to hers.

His breathing was labored due to his long speeches.

"This thing with Madisen, it was never real. I met her and I thought she was nice and pretty and that she could distract me from you. Take me away from you. Make me stop thinking about you. You, Jennette. It's always been you. It will always be you!" He cried leaning away from her. He turned his head to the side so that he wasn't looking at her. A tear fell down her cheek. Then another.

"Nathan I-" she tried again. "Stop Jennette. Just stop, okay. I'm not sorry I kissed you. I won't ever be. I've wanted to do that for so long. You have no idea how many times I just want to shove you into the nearest solid object and kiss you until you couldn't breathe. I tried so hard to fight it. I knew it wasn't right. I knew that it was all kinds of wrong, but Nettie I wanted to break all of the rules. I wanted to be all kinds of wrong. With you, for you. I kissed you, before, to prove that I could. To you and to myself. I wanted just one kiss because I knew that it would probably be the last time I would have the chance," he finished quietly.

She said nothing. It was all so much to take in, and to process. The silence was deafening and she could hear her own heart beating and knew that he probably could too. Her hands had fallen off of his shoulders some time ago, and he was standing a few feet apart from her, fists clenched by his side, his eyes on the floor. "Nathan, I don't know what to say," she finally admitted. He looked up at her.

"Tell me just one thing Jennette, and then I'll leave, I promise. I don't want to be here anymore. I shouldn't have come, but I needed to know just one thing," he said his eyes narrowing slightly. "What?" she replied hesitantly.

"Tell me the reason that you kept pushing me away. I want to know. Then I will leave, and I won't come back," he promised. "Nathan I-" "And don't you dare lie to me Jennette or I swear I will do something both of us regret," he said through clenched teeth.

"I just-" "It's a simple question Jennette," he said. "Would you let me-"

"Just tell me the truth!" He demanded.

"Nathan! I love you! Okay? I love you! I've loved you for so long that it hurts! All this time, I thought that you didn't feel the same. I thought you were perfectly happy with Madisen and that I would never be more than just your friend. You always told people that I was like a sister to you! A sister! How was I supposed to know that being a sister to you meant that you had feelings for me? I kept in for so long and I tried to hide it, but you wouldn't leave me alone! You kept wanting to hug me and talk to me and find out what was wrong when all along you where what was wrong! How was I supposed to tell you that? I didn't know you felt the same! I didn't want to embarrass either of us and just like you said I didn't want to ruin our friendship. But, look what's happened. I've done it anyways! It's damaged beyond belief. We are so screwed up that I don't think we'll ever be back to the way we were!" She cried.

He was shocked, probably as much as she had been. "You love me?" He asked after a moment. "I always have," she admitted. "You lied to me!" He exclaimed, "All this time you were lying to me!" "Well you were lying to me too!" She shot back.

"It's different!" He said angrily. "No it's really not!" Jennette replied. "You should have told me," he said taking a step closer. "And you should have told me!" She reasoned, crossing her arms. "I had a girlfriend," he said stepping closer still.

"And that's my fault? According to you it wasn't even a real relationship anyways!" "It was supposed to distract me! And also to make you jealous! But it didn't work, instead you just walked away!" He yelled. "And how on Earth was I supposed to know!" She shot back throwing her hands up in the air and letting them drop by her sides.

"I figured it was so obvious!" he replied. "Well it wasn't and I will not be held responsible for that!" She stated. "Well who's going to be responsible for this?" He questioned as he reached out and grabbed her waist.

He dragged her forward and in a split second his mouth descended onto hers. Last time, she apparently did not get the message across that she really did want the kiss. So, she vowed to make sure he got it this time. Jennette reached up and wound both arms around his neck.

She reached up on her tiptoes to press her mouth more firmly into his. He acknowledged her willingness and responded in like, pulling her more firmly to him. Their mouths fought for dominance, each wanting the upper hand. Nathan's tongue ran the line of her bottom lip and she opened her mouth allowing it in.

He realized that standing on her toes would get uncomfortable so he surprised her by lifting her up by the hips and pressing her into the wall. She wrapped her legs around his waist, as he guided her mouth with his.

He knew she wasn't skilled with kissing, him being the only guy she'd ever kissed and even then it had never been a real kiss. This was a real kiss. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the wall, much like earlier as he continued to kiss her like he had always wanted to.

She pulled away after a minute. "I can't breathe," she announced. He smiled and continued to trail kisses down her neck.

She tilted her head, giving him a better angle. It felt so good, so right to her, and she wondered why they had kept this from each other for so long. All of this pent up emotion and feeling, held back only to come out on a stormy night after an argument.

"Nathan?" She asked. "Hmm?" he replied teasing her lips with his. "This isn't weird right?" She questioned. "Does it feel weird?" He shot back. "No. Not at all," she hummed as he went back to her neck. "Good. It doesn't feel weird to me either," he stated smugly.

"I wonder why I always thought it would," she mused to herself. "I always said it was like kissing a sister. You were never like a sister to me Jennette. You were always so much more." "Good, because if this is how'd you kiss your sister, then we might have a problem," she teased.

"Yeah I wouldn't do this to my sister either," he grinned carrying her over to the couch. He dropped her onto her back and leaned over her. His body pressed into hers. "Will you come back to work?" He asked her. "Yeah I guess so. I mean, I sort of had this crush on one of my co-stars. It was making everything awkward, you know," she teased.

"Miranda? Yeah I always knew that you guess had something," he teased back. She wacked him in the chest. "Perv," she giggled. "I haven't heard you laugh in so long," he said suddenly serious.

"I haven't really had a reason to be all that happy lately," she replied. "I'm sorry," he said. "Not your fault," she stated running a finger over his lips, "A miscommunication error clearly." He grinned.

"You totally wanted me!" She smirked. "You totally wanted me too!" "No, I didn't just want you. I needed you Jennette. I needed you so badly I couldn't stand it," he admitted twisting a blonde curl around his finger.

"Oh yeah? I bet it sucked having to watch this every day and not getting any of it," she teased, motioning to her body. "Let me show you just how much it sucked," he replied. "Only on one condition," she teased.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Don't ever call me your sister again."


End file.
